I signed up for CNN’s “breaking news” mailing list sometime in October of 2001. At the time, the NSC was issuing “heightened security alerts” for various and sundry “non-specific threats”, and I thought it might be nice to be on the bleeding edge of these warnings. Over time, the usefulness of the NSC alerts wore thin (though I should have given them no thought in the first place), but the events that CNN deemed worthy of a Breaking News Bulletin Email proved to be rather interesting indeed.

Well, tonight’s email haul included another Breaking News Email, and I double clicked with nervous anxiety. Inside, it announced:

“Tampa Bay beats Oakland 48-21 in Super Bowl XXXVII in San Diego.”

Now, by the time that email went out, if you did not know the final outcome, you most likely did not give a shit about this contest. Am I wrong? And is this really worthy of a news flash? I’m thinking that the people who consider this event “news”, were watching the game, and therefore already knew the outcome (as I did, just to clear up any ambiguity). Those who don’t care about professional American football could find about about the game the next day at work—or not—as they see fit. These people certainly would not consider the outcome of this contest newsworthy, not in these times, not in this age of uncertainty.

You see that Breaking News subject line, you’re expecting big trouble; you open it up to see a ballgame score, you’re gonna be a bit put off, fan or non-fan.

This got me to wondering: who decides what is CNN Breaking News Email Flash worthy? Is there a CNN Breaking News Email Flash Czar? I would like to have a chat with this person or committee.

Better yet, I should simply cancel my subscription for that crap. BBC News is better anyway.