Paris Hilton is rich. Heir to hundreds of millions of dollars, she’s got it made. Her naked body has also been observed by millions of people by now, jostling playfully on a hotel bed, engaged in a fairly lame sexual romp with her then-boyfriend.

When this story broke a few weeks ago, the internet probably lit up like a christmas tree as millions of people bludgeoned Google with searches like “Paris Hilton sex tape” (and right there to back that up were zillions of porn site hosts advertising that they had the “exclusive” clip). Why all the interest? I’ll tell you why; jealousy. We’re all jealous of the haves. This chick doesn’t have to work a day in her life, and we do, so we are jealous. But I really just couldn’t have cared about watching a crappy video of some rich girl having sex. This is America, after all. Porn is everyplace.

When Jon Stewart joked about the clip a couple weeks ago, you just KNEW he’d seen it. I began to wonder, how many people HAD gone off In Search Of Paris?

Then Ms. Hilton herself appeared in a clip the other day, on Lewis Black’s segment. She was buying a purse. Dialog follows: